I need help...

Some things I noticed on my way back to Charlotte.

1-Dulles Airport might be the worst airport I've been to. It's not welcoming at all, nor do they seem to get the page that says "International flight, over 200 passengers are arriving". They don't seem to care, they just go on with their business and get frustrated when the customs line gets longer than 4 people. Next time I'll fly out of airport that's a little more prepared.

2-Spending a couple of days in DC/Virginia, helped me REALLY appreciate people saying that Virginia is a southern state. When you spend a day or so with Virginians, particularly people from Richmond, you begin to see how country they really are. I felt like I was in Georgia. Their accent, attire, "pimped" cars, and demeanor, had North Carolina on lock. North Carolina is now a northern state and Virginia is southern. Case closed.

3-85 is a shitty highway. When you get across the Virgina/NC state line, you suddenly can see and feel the difference. I felt like the car was on hydraulics. Seriously, NC do better.

4-Things have changed and I'm struggling to catch up. I turn on the news, things have happend. I'm lost. Music has particularly gotten worse (or maybe I was just immune to it while I was here), though I appreciate hearing it-its home to me. Reality shows are getting stoopider. Whats up with the invention show? There's a new Real World? When'd that happen? Project Runway is over? WHAT!?!

5-Star Jones looks sick. Don't know what else to say about that.

6-When did Issac Hayes convert to Scientology?

7-How long does jet lag last? I've slept through DC, through VA, through the long drive back home, through half the day today. Am I still jet lagged or just taking advantage of my vacation time?

AMERICA.....

Home again, home again. The first thing I did when I got home was...

1-Slept.
2-Ate Taco Bell.
3-Made phone calls without worrying about what time it was back in the states.
4-Slept some more.
5-Ate vegetables (because they're afraid of them in England).
6-Was glad I talked to a country hick. (Was actually the first person that spoke to me off the plane and he said, "Damn thang weighs more than I do" (referring to my back pack-in the countriest accent you can imagine). I smiled.
7-Turned on the radio and was happy to hear that stupid song about being in love with a stripper.
8-Watched MTV and BET.
9-Slept again.


....On my return to the states I was also greeted with this email. Reminding me of the best 4 years of my life, my time in the ATL. I hope this brings joy to all the true ATLiens.

For Atlanta...

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta. Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except, that in Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:

Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Corners
Peachtree Lane
New Peachtree
Peachtree Road
Old Peachtree
Peachtree Parkway
West Peachtree
Peachtree Run
Peachtree-Dunwoody Rd
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Peachtree Commons

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation.
People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."

And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard".

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

If you're told to go to Bankhead Highway and can't find it, it's because the name is Veterans Memorial but the locals still call it Bankhead.

Also, once the road you're on crosses another road, the name of the road you're on changes. Some roads names change every half mile or so.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop." If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu, another ill-advised "import," like the carp, starling, English sparrow, and other "exotic wonders."

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from Atlanta, Georgia and those who just wish they were.

I sure do love me some Jorgah.

Drumroll please....

the decision. Minneapolis.

Why?

1-Because it's cheaper. My parents have financially stood by me through Spelman and now grad school. No loans, no scholarships, nothing but their hard earned money have seen me through 5 years of schooling. They've paid all of my bills, car note, rent, utilities, my shopping addiction, anything I wanted or needed and never said "no". I feel I owe them this much, to suck it up for 3 more months, finish strong and cheaper. San Fran will always be there, expensive ass rent and all.

2-Because I already planned on going. Behind Chicago, I applied to go to Carmichael Lynch. To do the same program I did here in London, which for those of you that don't know is in downtown Minneapolis. Though I didn't get in that program, "cut backs". Why rock the boat?

3-Because I doubt I'll be job ready come graduation. It normally takes 3-6 months to prepare a book AFTER graduation. Career wise, San Fran has more agencies, wait I take that back, has more GOOD agencies than Minne. So the need to shop my book around won't come until 3-6 months after I get my piece of paper. There'd be no time at all to shop my book around in the city before the lease in the student housing ends. I figure why not just save that little bit of extra change I would have paid on my last quarter and use it on searching aka traveling for a job when I'm really ready.

4-Because I'd have my own place in Minne. I'd get to concentrate more on my book (Minne's school is smaller and living by myself would give me a stress free, peaceful place to come home to). I love my fellow students, but I get tired of talking, critting, and living advertising, ALL DAY EVERYDAY. My own place would give me the opportunity to unwind with a nice glass of wine, iTunes, and me, myself, and I.

5-Because that 5 hour drive will come in handy. When I get stressed and overloaded with work, a hug always seems to deflate all of that. I've needed one so many times here in London. The close proximity to Iowa is just an additional perk that I feel I'll need as I'm rounding third base and coming into home. "Don't get all geeked though, this ain't no love thing. Me and Darius are just kickin' it" -Nina, you know the movie.

I appreciate all the suggestions. Everyone pretty much said the same feelings I was feeling. I just needed to make sure it was either the devil talkin' or the angel talkin'. If I could, I'd go to San Fran in a heart beat. But, at this point I need to be mature about my decision and go with my brain instead of my heart. Goin' with the flow here guys, back me up....

Sometimes life, throws you a curve ball....

When plans don't quite go the way you envisioned them-you have to just suck it up and go with the flow.

I tend to plan out my life the way I want it to go. The way I think it should go. I know when I'm going to graduate, when and where I'm going to start looking for jobs, when I want to get married, when I want to have kids, even when I want to die. When things don't go according to the way I planned it, I get shaken up a bit. Not because I didn't get what I wanted, but because I'm afraid it will mess up future plans, plans down the road. I've been in graduate school for a year and a half now and each quarter, Chicago tops my list of 'places I want to go to while in the program'. I agreed to take any internship there. Just to get to the city I secretly love (even though I've never been). To have my Darrius Lovehall poetically serenade me in our favorite jazz spot. Hmmm. That plan didn't quite go as well as I thought it would. The internship and moving to the city, my city, fell through. So now I'm stuck with creating a whole new plan around this little obstacle in my path. Plan B-finish my book next quarter and graduate early. It's not like I'm graduating a whole year early. Only 3 months early. A challenge I'd gladly accept with the added perk of "I get to stop paying the man" (translation: no tuition). Where do I sign up? The only choice left is where? Miami, Minneapolis, or San Francisco. I've never been to San Fran, much less the west coast, so that would bring a whole new experience as well as new challenges (no place to live, school starts April 3rd (is that London all over again?), becoming familiar with a whole new city-which could bring distractions) But, then again maybe not. Who knows? I'm familiar with Miami and Minneapolis. Miami is practically my 3rd home behind Charlotte and Atlanta, but again, could the warm weather and beach which conveniently is only 7 blocks away tempt me? Can I deal with Miami during SPRING BREAK TIME for a 3rd time? Minneapolis, surprisingly turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would (translation: where did all these black people come from?). There's also an added perk to being in the Mid-west. A 5-hour drive can do wonders. Only I've been there before. I'd feel cheated, like I didn't use every opportunity Miami Ad School gave me with the whole "Quarter Away Program". Like I didn't use "the man" the way he's used me. So I'm taking a poll. A poll I'd like everyone who reads this blog to participate in. Keep in mind I see you little fuckers (translation: I have a site meter). If you don't want me to know who you are, just post anonymously. But, seriously I'd appreciate an answer. Ultimately, I have the last word, but I'd still like to know the opinion of others. Soooooooo......If you had the choice between Miami, Minneapolis, or San Francisco. Where would you go?